Sharing the Halloween Candy? Really?

"Madison was hilarious last night."

(She's my 2 year old granddaughter.)

"We would go trick-or-treating to one house and they would 

give her a piece of candy.  Madison would hold onto it 

and when we went to the next house she would 

try to give them that piece of candy when they gave her one.

They would say, “'Madison, that’s yours.'

 So she would put it in her bag and hold the candy they gave her.

When we went to the next house she would do it again, and try to

give them the piece of candy she was holding 

when they gave one to her.

'That’s yours Madison,' they said. 

So she would put that one in her bag and hold the candy they gave her.

At the next house ... 

Oh, and while I’m telling you this Madison is saying 

'Mom ... Mom ... Mom,'

like I’m not supposed to tell you about this."

Sun! Flowers

Passing the Sunflower Farm without stopping

just wasn't an option.

I pulled over to photograph the rows and rows of

sunflowers with every single yellow flower 

turned toward the early morning sun.

(I know.  Duh.)

But -- Look!

Every single flower turned toward the sun!

It was so amazing I wanted to climb in there,

right in the middle of all those flowers!

Fortunately ...

there was an end to the barbed wire.

(See me taking the pic?)

I started taking photos ... 

and noticed the amazing bees

... of all kinds

... and all sizes!

Then I discovered how beautiful the flowers were from

the back.  (There's still a bee, too.)

Finally I took my farewell photos ...

rows and rows of the backs of all those sunflowers.

Flying High 2: Cast Your Vote!

Which do you like better?

There are so many options when playing with

photoshop layers ... it's often hard to choose.

So you get to vote!

Which do you like better?

This one with wings?

Or Friday's post?

Flying High

Today I finished altering this photo of mom.

That afternoon mom and her friends were goofing off,

hanging around in front of Crowell High School.

One of the young men picked her up and 

set her in this niche to the side of the front doors.

I've always loved this picture and

decided to play with it. 

Austin is just below mom's feet and

she holds the Yellow Rose of Texas.

Austin is where mom and dad got married,

and we celebrated that symbolic yellow rose on

their 50th anniversary family reunion cruise.

Perched high on a telephone pole (mom, do you 

remember your first telephone? would you write in the
comments any stories you remember?) mom is 

surrounded by hummingbirds that she

loves to paint with her water colors.

As I finish this post one of my favorite shows,

Who Do You Think You Are?

has just finished tracing the ancestry of

someone who explored census records, country

cemeteries, and marriage certificates.

We are fortunate to have some of our
family history recorded in an autobiography
mom wrote during her high school years.

Click below to read how three families in heavily ladened
prairie schooners left the hills of Tennessee for Texas in 1851:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/36534720/Autobio-DCB

...somewhere in the rear came Squire Campbell's
iron grey hunter and his fox hounds, for he
hoped in the new country to continue the chase of the fox ...

I love hearing family stories, looking at photos,
and then letting my imagination wander freely
as I think about who I am ... and who I might be.

Playing with Flowers

There's something refreshing about

playing with beautiful  flowers.

Sean plants ... Holly photographs ... I play around.

Seems you can't go wrong when playing with flowers!

Depression Distractions

Whew!!!

That's not a problem after all!

In the process of dealing with one of those
everyday-life-stressers

I discovered something interesting:

What craziness!
 To find a looming
dragon of depression defeated
because something else threatened!

What distracts you from stress?

Look Upward and Outward: Cheyenne Flying Thunderbirds Air Show

During Cheyenne Days there are moments
when much of the town pauses to look beyond itself.

As we prepared for the Flying Thunderbirds air show
vehicles filled every parking space near the
community college -- and then lined up and down
the highway.  On a weekday! In the middle of the day!
(?Is this craziness or is this wisdom?)

Children stared up at the sky
as the six jets turned, swooped, and dove in perfect sync.
Smoke streamed behind as some broke off
for a solo dive-spin, duet, or quartet.

Amazing! And mesmerizing.
Young parents relaxed while teens, children,
and even toddlers gazed above.

It reminds me of how Plato describes the power of
looking above and beyond our own selves

in astronomy and other outward-looking activities:

Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards

and leads us from this world to another.

This is true for the children and youth,
some at-risk, who attend camp at the new-ish 

Comanche Springs Astronomy Campus 

near our family ranch in Crowell, Texas.

I asked my brother, why astronomy?

He described how gazing into the universe takes 

us beyond ourselves so that we might

gain a different kind of perspective

and move on to find new meaning in life.

It was later that I realized he had quoted Plato.

How I Love That!

The creative and yet practical

ways Plato addresses struggles!!!

How do you look upward and outward?

The night sky? Cloud gazing?

Civic Park or Cherry Creek at sunset

as homeless unroll sleeping bags?

Click below to leave a comment
so that we might brainstorm together about how
to look beyond ... and expand our souls.

Put Your Anger to Good Use: Those @^*&/!# *%/!#@s!

I love the creative ways some people 

throw down the gauntlet 

in the face of trouble and the garbage of life!

Here's a reproach and metaphor I like:

...those microscopic &*/@!# cancer cells! 

(Insert "Old Testament" thoughts of smiting, 

destruction, pestilence, and burnt offerings here).

Hah! Makes me want to adopt this for the DirtyD word. 

Depression lurks in the same insidious way, 

and we similarly wonder if/when

it will launch a surprise attack from within.

So that you can 

use some of this anger in a positive way

I've re-created

a visual journal page for you.

What do you want to glare at Kabuki style?

What pestilence do you want to smite and destroy?

Go for it!!!  

You can highlight and then save or print this image;

it's one that will work well in black & white or color.

Use the label for your battle cry 

or your own list of creative anger-symbols.

Then use expressive gestures or fonts

as you write/scribble/scrawl your thoughts.

(you can place a text-box on the pages

after saving them on your computer.) 

Post or email me a copy of your creation.

Let's put that anger to good use

to name and &*/@!# those &^*@/#!!!*

depressive cancerous *%/!#@s! 

Journal Blessings!

Battling Depression -- via a Young Don Quixote

As a child I was always intrigued by a section of gnarled tree trunk
that was carved into the head of Don Quixote.
 It never occurred to me to wonder who Don Quixote was; 

after all, he was just some guy dad liked.

Dad also had a small wooden piece, only a few inches tall, a 

skinny old guy with knobby knees, pointed helmet, and tall spear-thing. 

My brother now has these in a niche in his den.  
A good friend has a silkscreen print of Don Quixote on a horse, 
again a scrawny guy wearing a pointed helmet 

and holding a  lance, all drawn with a striking grungy outline.

I finally wondered, who is this Don Quixote?

Well, he’s a guy who seems to be simply silly or crazy-as-anything.

Maybe that’s because he goes through his days with boundless hope.  

Or maybe it’s because he thinks every 

windmill is a giant enemy that needs to be slain. 

(At this point it occurred to me that the pic of dad at nine, 

grinning big-enough-to-beat-all as he sat on a horse, 

would be perfect to alter: Young Don Quixote!)

Seems to me that jousting with windmill blades is either crazy or delightful.  

I think it’s a delightful metaphor 
for battling depression -- that visible/invisible 

giant-of-an-enemy found in homes far and wide.

What a way to bring a smile to your eyes and a lift of the chin:  to face

the day with an imaginary lance (how about this candy-cane striped one 

I found on flickr?) ready to battle any giant you might encounter.

Enjoy!  Click comments below to share your fav Don Quixote story, 

your battle with those visible/invisible-giants-of-depression-or-you-name-it, 

or anything else on your mind.  (Yes, you can

also still email me -- people love to read comments though

as we grow, think, and learn together.)

Dare ... to Dive In

Prologue

No, I won’t do it, she thought.  

I want to see what will happen.  What will become of them.  

There’s something special in them ... 

It returned.  

Fully formed like Athena sprung from the head of Zeus.  

But it's not beautiful like that Roman Goddess, 

and she's not fully armed and ready to lead in battle.  

Carol begins her chemo on Monday.  

She is fully armed for battle and has even posted 

a rallying cry on her cancer website.

I’ve decided to journey with her and channel that moxy. 

I’ll revisit the scene of my battle and post journal entries from 

that time in my life, just a couple of years ago.  

So ... Why would that take moxy, guts, nerve? 

Because cancer wasn’t the biggest battle.  

For that I received the accompanying Medal of Honor.  

For that I constantly receive a warm congratulatory smile 

accompanied by the concerned follow-up, how are you now? 

My biggest battle was with the Dirty D.  Depression.  

For that one most often receives a kind but confused smile 

accompanied by a veiling over the eyes and a murmered 

something-or-other followed by a change of topic.  

Unless ... one has faced the Dirty D.  

But even then ... shhh quietly echoes in our heads 

... shhh -- someone might hear! 

The discomfort and reticence to talk about Depression

are shadowy residuals of a shame 

 that is still present in our culture.  

!!!Thank God cancer is no longer a topic of shame and silence!!!  

Someday I hope the same to be true for depression.

Today I begin my battle against any lingering shame of depression.   

It will take place on three fronts:  

   The Cancer-Radiation Arena with posts from my cancer journals 

   The Anxiety-Depression Arena with past and present reflections

   Continued posts on the Spiritual Arena with creative whimsical images

I hope you’ll join me and post your comments.  

Go ahead!  You can always post anonymously if you prefer.  

And yes, you can still email me privately.

Ohhhhhh CrapCrapCRAP!!!  Lost EvERY WoRD of this POst!!!  

Fine!  I’ll re-write and re-post!!!   Hah.  First battle.  Won it. 

Here goes the post and the image I just created.

Pause? Rest? Realistically ... How?

How often do you take time to pause
or rest through your day?
Sometimes the reaction to this question is
What!?!?  Are you CrAZy!?!
I don't have Time to pause or rest!

In reality, however, we are more effective
when we do intentionally pause
and allow our minds, hearts, and bodies
to momentarily rest.

Gazing into space is one way to pause.

Gazing at an icon 

is a way to spiritually pause and rest.

I like to gaze at an icon like this,

one that has a golden ground 

rather than a background.

The image can seem to float with

unfocused gaze.

One of my favorites is Trinity

by the late 14th century

Russian artist Andrei Rublev.

It is the large open space
around the bowl that allows
my eyes, mind, and soul to rest
in this painting.
The neutral center provides
a visual place of solace
while my peripheral vision
still encompasses the Trinity.

Notice how your heartbeat slows,
your breathing deepens,
and you are momentarily refreshed.
See?  It didn't take long at all!

Let me know how you intentionally
pause or rest.  I love to hear from you!

Thinking of dad

Dad's birthday would have been on the 14th

and so I decided to create a

birthday present for all of us in his memory.

All I know is that this is dad as a young adult -- 

mom, would you add in the comments

anything about his age or what he

was doing around this time?

I've also included a copy of the original

vintage photo below for anyone 

who would like to copy it.

Love you dad.  Love you mom.

Love all of you.

Fragile

Sometimes our faces reveal a vulnerability

that resides deep in the soul.

What can we do?

Be gracious and gentle with ourselves.

Even (and maybe especially) during 

times of strength -- an

investment for fragile times. 

Mandala Play

It's such fun to play;

rather than expectation

there is exploration.

Blake likes to draw and color

"those circle things."

This one was stapled into one of my journals

a couple of years ago -- notice how he finished it off 

with another piece of paper stapled into the center.

Exploring color, shape, center ...

there is something about Mandalas that

rises from within -- even for a four year old!  

Go ahead and pull out those broken crayons 

that have pulled off paper and chewed edges.

See what happens when you explore

"one of those circle things"

then leave a comment or send me an email 

with a picture of your playful creation.

Steady Hand at the Wheel

This is a wisdom favorite learned from  

a friend who often sails:

steady hand at the rudder;

steady hand at the wheel.

Practicing life-lessons has become a favorite tool;

so for this image I chose a calm day at sea,

added a layer of ABC basics, 

and attached a postage stamp to myself.  

Reminder to self: Practice the basics;

a steady hand during times of calm

will help prepare me for stormy turbulent times.

We can just let things happen ... or 

we can be proactive.

I so much prefer to be somewhat prepared!

And wouldn't funky aqua wings help?

Celebrating

I thought you might enjoy 

celebrating with these 1920 Suffragettes.

Music for the Soul

Sitting on our patio with friends

and listening to Leah sing;

doesn't get much better than this.

Click below to listen

http://leahorlikowski.com/index.htm
on Leah's website.

You might even want to purchase a cd!

Where are you going?

Time ...  Space ... 

These are gifts I have for awhile. 

I just finished a farewell lunch with

staff at my interim position.

It was wonderful being present these past months,

and a blessing to turn things over to Jessica.  

So ... what's next?  

How will I use this time and space?

How do you use yours?

How do you wish you could use yours?

It occurs to me that 

however little

 or however much we have,

the Cheshire Cat's wisdom for Alice holds true:

"If you don't know where you are going

any path will get you there."

Where are you going?

Where do you hope to go?

Leave a comment and let us know!

Playing at Sunrise

When was the last time 

you allowed yourself the

freedom to play?  

To really let loose as a child does?

Was it today -- or some time ago?

How about renewing the play in your life.

It might be fun to think the renewal as 

Playing at Sunrise.

Leave a comment

and let me know how you played  

or renewed playfulness in your life

and what it was like.

One way I am is by posting again on my blog.

Thanks to all of you for asking about it 

and checking in with me!

En-Joy

                          En-joy:

                                  Enter 2010

                                         With joy

                           My hope

                                       My prayer

                                               For you, for me, for us.