Dare ... to Dive In

Prologue

No, I won’t do it, she thought.  

I want to see what will happen.  What will become of them.  

There’s something special in them ... 

It returned.  

Fully formed like Athena sprung from the head of Zeus.  

But it's not beautiful like that Roman Goddess, 

and she's not fully armed and ready to lead in battle.  

Carol begins her chemo on Monday.  

She is fully armed for battle and has even posted 

a rallying cry on her cancer website.

I’ve decided to journey with her and channel that moxy. 

I’ll revisit the scene of my battle and post journal entries from 

that time in my life, just a couple of years ago.  

So ... Why would that take moxy, guts, nerve? 

Because cancer wasn’t the biggest battle.  

For that I received the accompanying Medal of Honor.  

For that I constantly receive a warm congratulatory smile 

accompanied by the concerned follow-up, how are you now? 

My biggest battle was with the Dirty D.  Depression.  

For that one most often receives a kind but confused smile 

accompanied by a veiling over the eyes and a murmered 

something-or-other followed by a change of topic.  

Unless ... one has faced the Dirty D.  

But even then ... shhh quietly echoes in our heads 

... shhh -- someone might hear! 

The discomfort and reticence to talk about Depression

are shadowy residuals of a shame 

 that is still present in our culture.  

!!!Thank God cancer is no longer a topic of shame and silence!!!  

Someday I hope the same to be true for depression.

Today I begin my battle against any lingering shame of depression.   

It will take place on three fronts:  

   The Cancer-Radiation Arena with posts from my cancer journals 

   The Anxiety-Depression Arena with past and present reflections

   Continued posts on the Spiritual Arena with creative whimsical images

I hope you’ll join me and post your comments.  

Go ahead!  You can always post anonymously if you prefer.  

And yes, you can still email me privately.

Ohhhhhh CrapCrapCRAP!!!  Lost EvERY WoRD of this POst!!!  

Fine!  I’ll re-write and re-post!!!   Hah.  First battle.  Won it. 

Here goes the post and the image I just created.

Pause? Rest? Realistically ... How?

How often do you take time to pause
or rest through your day?
Sometimes the reaction to this question is
What!?!?  Are you CrAZy!?!
I don't have Time to pause or rest!

In reality, however, we are more effective
when we do intentionally pause
and allow our minds, hearts, and bodies
to momentarily rest.

Gazing into space is one way to pause.

Gazing at an icon 

is a way to spiritually pause and rest.

I like to gaze at an icon like this,

one that has a golden ground 

rather than a background.

The image can seem to float with

unfocused gaze.

One of my favorites is Trinity

by the late 14th century

Russian artist Andrei Rublev.

It is the large open space
around the bowl that allows
my eyes, mind, and soul to rest
in this painting.
The neutral center provides
a visual place of solace
while my peripheral vision
still encompasses the Trinity.

Notice how your heartbeat slows,
your breathing deepens,
and you are momentarily refreshed.
See?  It didn't take long at all!

Let me know how you intentionally
pause or rest.  I love to hear from you!

Thinking of dad

Dad's birthday would have been on the 14th

and so I decided to create a

birthday present for all of us in his memory.

All I know is that this is dad as a young adult -- 

mom, would you add in the comments

anything about his age or what he

was doing around this time?

I've also included a copy of the original

vintage photo below for anyone 

who would like to copy it.

Love you dad.  Love you mom.

Love all of you.

Fragile

Sometimes our faces reveal a vulnerability

that resides deep in the soul.

What can we do?

Be gracious and gentle with ourselves.

Even (and maybe especially) during 

times of strength -- an

investment for fragile times. 

Mandala Play

It's such fun to play;

rather than expectation

there is exploration.

Blake likes to draw and color

"those circle things."

This one was stapled into one of my journals

a couple of years ago -- notice how he finished it off 

with another piece of paper stapled into the center.

Exploring color, shape, center ...

there is something about Mandalas that

rises from within -- even for a four year old!  

Go ahead and pull out those broken crayons 

that have pulled off paper and chewed edges.

See what happens when you explore

"one of those circle things"

then leave a comment or send me an email 

with a picture of your playful creation.

Steady Hand at the Wheel

This is a wisdom favorite learned from  

a friend who often sails:

steady hand at the rudder;

steady hand at the wheel.

Practicing life-lessons has become a favorite tool;

so for this image I chose a calm day at sea,

added a layer of ABC basics, 

and attached a postage stamp to myself.  

Reminder to self: Practice the basics;

a steady hand during times of calm

will help prepare me for stormy turbulent times.

We can just let things happen ... or 

we can be proactive.

I so much prefer to be somewhat prepared!

And wouldn't funky aqua wings help?

Celebrating

I thought you might enjoy 

celebrating with these 1920 Suffragettes.

Music for the Soul

Sitting on our patio with friends

and listening to Leah sing;

doesn't get much better than this.

Click below to listen

http://leahorlikowski.com/index.htm
on Leah's website.

You might even want to purchase a cd!